so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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