he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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