I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
