What a fucking waste of an outfit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
