im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
