if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would fuck him just for his dog
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
