You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
