she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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