Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
