YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
