A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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