This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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