I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize