I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
