Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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