I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
