You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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