i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
