I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
