explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize