me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
