Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
