hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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