Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
