Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you never un-have a 4some
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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