he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
