She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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