my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
