Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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