Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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