They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
