every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
