She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
