Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
