I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
