it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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