drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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