I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize