Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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