I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize