As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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