don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize