I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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