Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
