Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
