just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
