it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize