Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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