I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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