I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
