dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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