I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize