do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
