You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
