How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
