Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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