3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
