Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
