Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
