belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
