dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
