I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize