so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
