god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
