Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
