Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Drunk is a universal language darling
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
