im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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