was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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