I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
