Dual....:-)
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
